[Tom London1Participant]

Wow. Just wow. Mattarmo needs banning for the advice he gave.

The police are stats driven. They need to show prosections for Domestic violence. They do not care for the truth.

The worst thing you can ever do is talk candidly to the police. I have had the idiots do the mates act with me. It is all a ruse. Matt is pulling the same shit here. The biggest threat to divorced men is violence addicted police who wants to batter and tazer anyone they can pass off as a wife beater.

Most of us could see our children at the weekend. It is the police who do the calling of the courts and batter us if we try to be fathers and prop up the legal profession’s cashing in on child abuse.

Police officers are for the most part despicable. They cover up for their colleagues and will all falsify statements to wrongly convict.

[Tom London1Participant]

Go to your MP. MP’s written questions to government agencies carry a lot of weight. Senior management shit themselves.

[Tom London1Participant]

An interview with the police is often a good sign. It means they do not have enough evidence to charge you and need to get you in to incriminate yourself. Talk nonsense to them. Ask them why they protected Jimmy Saville for decades, why they do nothing to stop child grooming when it is going on right under their noses and yet they then have the resources to pull law abiding fathers in for questioning. In short for every question they fire at you ask them about a police cover up. Ian Tomlinson is a good one to start with. Ask them why they fail to investigate their own officers for manslaughter and yet they have you in because an anxious ex is making barely plausible stories. Tell them their job is rubbish pay, terrible hours and terrible for a family life and they need to rethink their life choices. If they want to serve the public then they can do so in the NHS. Retrain and stop being arseholes.

[Tom London1Participant]

Non Molestation orders pretty much well do the same. No need to prove anything. If a judge feels like awarding one they get put in place. Then if you do anything outlawed such as waving at your kid it is a contempt of court and has powers of arrest attached.

This is just moving the same restrictive orders which require no burden of proof into the criminal courts so you do not need to be man/wife or co parents.

[Tom London1Participant]

I think they are just lazy fuckers with no external scrutiny going on who have got too used to cutting corners and lying. They know that nobody can quote their reports outside of court. Sign up for a 40k+ a year job and then start booking all inc holidays in the sun whilst calling in sick and rehashing the same old 2-3 reports repeatedly for each case without reading any case details ever.

Sack the lot of them.

[Tom London1Participant]

Belfast, wikivorce is the best place for free legal advice. F4J is more of a political, support and information service.

Yes the claims of legal help and advice are really false marketing and they should really drop the claims to be providing help. I am sure they only can tackle a handful of cases at any time and there are 100,000s of us getting churned through the courts every year.

[Tom London1Participant]

Cafcass complaints is internal. They are taking 15 days to put through a generic reply clearing their officer of any wrongdoing or incompetence. Once that reply comes back though you are free to take the complaint to your MP. Your MP if they think you have good grounds to complain will then raise it with CAFCASS and then the lazy 40k a year officers have to actually be accountable and justify why they are burning through tax payers money whilst writing up reports that would merit a fail as GCSE coursework.

[Tom London1Participant]

You have to volunteer to give the information. I made it clear to my GP that I was releasing my records under extreme duress. That I was being blackmailed by the family courts. Anywhere else this would be criminal behaviour but the Family Courts are above the “rule of law”. They break laws with impunity.

I still cannot get how the judges can live with their actions. They blackmail people on a daily basis. Do things which most people in society would deem beyond the pale. Threatening fathers that they will never see their children again is on a par to armed robbers who take a bank managers children hostage. It takes a special type of sociopath.

[Tom London1Participant]

A letter from your GP stating “no history of mental illness or substance abuse” is often not enough. I had judge Bosman of Cambridge County Court rule that “if I ever wanted to see my children again, then I had to volunteer to release all medical records”. That was after I informed him that I knew his court could not request my records under current laws. My GPs were appalled but that is family court judges for you. They resort to criminal blackmail. Those records detailed everything from birth to current day and were copied in to my ex and her legal team. So much for my right to privacy

[Tom London1Participant]

Always ask to speak to a Cafcass officers manager. They will forward you on and then you can run all communication through them direct. Be reasonable, rational and calm and perhaps the senior cafcass officers will actually take a look and realise that the individual officer has cut too many corners and let their own personal bias interfere. It is a big hope though. Mostly they could not give a shit until an MP is demanding they sack the officer.

[Tom London1Participant]

I put through a complaint. There is a process online or via the website. It goes through an internal complaints procedure. They will not look so much at the outcome of the report, more at malpractice and laziness on the part of the cafcass officer who wrote the report. If you can find flaws, errors and blatant lies in the report then it is worth highlighting. The cafcass report on me was terrible. The judge rejected their recommendations twice and most of that was because the report looked like a cut and paste job.

Once Cafcass dismiss your complaint (they are worse than the police for covering up) then you are able to take your complaint to your MP. It has to have gone through the cafcass complaints procedure before your MP can then raise it with cafcass and only then with an MP on their case will they take it seriously.

[Tom London1Participant]

Go limited if you can. Then only pay yourself a minimal salary. The shambolic CMS only look at salary payments. It has kept my head above water for years. You can be earning 1500 a week and only paying £10 in child support. You just have to be able to afford insurance and accountancy fees which on your hours is going to be tough.

The system is fucked, in much the same way that the family courts are. Equal Parenting. Pay for the children when you have them with you and abolish this system of payment that incentivises contact denial.

[Tom London1Participant]

Yet another tax on divorced fathers. Everyone wants to cash in on men’s misfortune. Such a huge industry has grown up around using children of separated parents to extort money. This has to be an area that could be filled by a charity or better still mental health trusts? If they want to get childhood depression, male suicide down then a good way would be to provide social clubs where divorced men and their children can meet at weekends. Every school should have a room set aside.

[Tom London1Participant]

Yep. You have no legal right to know, how your child is cared for or who she leaves them with during her time and vice versa.

Social services can and will go check if you report mother is out and you suspect child is alone or being cared for by inappropriate person. Expect angry backlash. Much easier for the mother to share info with you.

[Tom London1Participant]

Gaslighting. Common tactic of abusive people on breaking up and ending a relationship is to try to shift blame away from them. Claiming the other person is mentally unstable does that and at the same time leaves the person on the defensive and questioning their sanity. It is done to too many of us. Solicitors encourage women to abuse in this way.

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