[Tom LondonParticipant]

Modern day Stasi. Social services, CAFCASS and the family courts think that nothing is off limits to them. They will use the powers they have over your children to access every part of your life. More often than not they have already determined what they want to do with you just they like the chance to use powers to bully and coerce you into giving them access to every part of your life. Even when they fail to turn up the evidence they need (in my case it was allegations by my ex of mental illness which they were desperate to prove), they will then say “oh well we found nothing there but he has now failed the welfare checklist”. The “welfare checklist” is a catch all that once you dis-prove all other allegations they will then wheel out to use against you. In my case the fact that I took my ex back to court and caused her upset and emotional distress meant that the children were being indirectly harmed and therefore I was not putting them first.

You cannot win against these people. You need to admit guilt (even if you have none) and voluntarily go along to their re-education programmes and make out like you are now a reformed male. Ideally they would like you to volunteer to undergo castration but they are not yet allowed to openly state this dream of theirs.

I think the judge warning you not to go ahead with a fact finding is clear enough. They have already decided against you. Under law you clearly have the right to one but whatever you now pull out in front of the judge will be worthless (obviously your solicitor will not tell you to cut your losses). Family court Judges and magistrates only have to use the law and legal framework when it suits them unlike criminal cases where the law has to be strictly applied.

There are lots of us who are permanently barred from seeing children. It has become the courts way of quickly disposing of cases and saving the MoJ and CAFCASS money. They cannot have cases dragging on for a decade or more. Justice i smeaningless in the family courts. Better that the children live with mother and are denied any contact with father if that is what mother deems fit than run up bills of 10,000s for the taxpayer. Dysfunctional parents and the harm done to their children are a low priority.

[Tom LondonParticipant]

It is illegal but the family courts and social services often act outside of the law. You will be told that you will be volunteering the information.

I had something similar. The Judge demanded I release all medical records. Having worked in the NHS I knew the law and know that GPs will refuse to release records even for serious criminal trials so I invited the judge to write to my GP telling him he would not get my consent to release them. The judge then gave me a clear choice. “Consent to the release of all medical records or never see your children again”

Social Services are doing the same. You can refuse their request but they will then make sure you never see your children.

Biggest human rights violators in the UK. The family court get away with using children to blackmail parents everyday and there is no one to police them. If anyone else did this it would be a criminal matter and you could prosecute.

[Tom LondonParticipant]

Take everything CAFCASS say with a huge pinch of salt. They are probably saying the opposite thing to the ex. They put even barristers and solicitors to shame with their lies.

[Tom LondonParticipant]

With the right solicitors on a woman’s side you cannot stop this.

The woman needs to be coached to cry around CAFCASS and to be convincing and then they will conclude that the emotional distress being caused to mother is not in the best interests of the children. CAFCASS will wheel out the welfare checklist and this will sadly trump any evidence you offer to argue against the move. A mother with residency holds all the cards. With the right legal advice she can strip you of all rights.

The whole system is rigged. Solicitors will give you false hope but family law is still stuck in the 50s with the notion that females are poor defenceless beings who need to be protected. If that means allowing them to skip off to Australia then so be it. You must not make mother cry

[Tom LondonParticipant]

This is the most pressing piece of family law that has to change. It just seems inexcusable that parents can abduct children to another country with the full blessing of the courts.

Even if we never get equal parenting it must be that we stop parents taking children more than 100 miles away from the other parent.

Fuck the rights of the resident parent. When they make the decision to have a child they should be made aware that they are committing to raising that child with the other parent for 18 years. Cutting the other parent out when it suits them is abuse. This has to stop. Nothing pisses me off more than society’s casual acceptance of child abduction by resident parents. Lobby your MP. Tell them it is abuse and the law needs to change

• This reply was modified 8 years, 1 month ago by  Tom London.

[Tom LondonParticipant]

So with weeks to go until the CSA close their case on me I am getting letters from the CMS. Shit about how I have a responsibility to pay and wanting to know what kind of arrangement I am going to opt for. I do not speak to my ex at all. Not a single word spoken outside of court in 3 years. So I am blind as to what her intentions are but I am going to assume the worst. Despite earning twice the national average and owning a 500k property outright I know she will do anything to mess with me.

My phone number is now changed and only close friends and family members have it. So far no calls direct from the CMS so that is good. The kids have not been allowed to speak to me in 6 years so no way they would know anything about me that the ex does not know.

I now wonder what their next move will be. My intention is to ignore all letters. I am self employed so they cannot go to my employer to get info on me. If they start to escalate things and try bullying tactics then I may go so far as to rent a place out in France for 6 months and go wait it out. Will that be enough to shake the fuckers off though?

What is the best tactic for getting the state out of my life? I am now in that spot where I am no longer legally required to communicate information to the CSA or CMS about changes in address. They have to track me down first and I would have to identify myself to them.

• This reply was modified 8 years, 1 month ago by  Tom London.

[Tom LondonParticipant]

Just be aware that social services and CAFCASS think nothing of lying to your face. They will tell you that you pose no risk and that supervised contact is only for the more serious cases where fathers are recently out of prison. Then 1-2 weeks later you will get a report saying you are a risk and that you are restricted to supervised or no contact. It is cowardice. Whilst they are in the room with you they will say everything you want to hear.

Even judges do this bullshit. They will lie and say they need a month to come to a decision when really they already know they are going to cut you out of the child/children’s lives and just do not want to tell you to your face. They would rather have you vacate the court before they break it to you.

Employees of the state who rob people of children are for the most part cowards.

As for this idea of mothers that when it comes to a split that they are justified in stealing a child and then making all decisions, this stems from feminist ideology which we have all been indoctrinated with. We are all told that carrying the baby for 9 months is all important. That above everything else determines which parent is the more crucial to a child. After the first birthday though and ending of breast feeding this argument is then essentially void. A child’s bond to either parent is determined by behaviour and nuture. Sadly though women still cling to the idea that the child is their’s first and foremost.

Society says you must not remove a child from a mother without real cause but to do so from fathers is unfortunate but if you are to do it then it is best done if you or agents of the state concoct a lie to go with it that absolves mother and them of all blame.

Your children are stolen from you- You are to blame. You must have been a bad husband or father.

[Tom LondonParticipant]

Yes I spoke to them. I told them it was November 5th and I was in Trafalgar sq exercising my right to protest. I was not breaking any law, not harassing or causing alarm. That they were guilty of unlawful arrest, false imprisonment and interference with property (they take phones now for data harvesting).

They decided to proceed with a prosecution for failure to comply with a section 35 dispersal order. When I went before the court I pleaded not guilty and challenged the validity of the order. A full trial was then scheduled and the Chief Superintendent who issued the order had to appear. I got to cross examine him in court. Pointed out to him that even he knew his order was unlawful and contrary to the oath he had taken to uphold human rights laws.

I was fined, but the Met have now stopped using the orders against protests. I have a complaint that is now at IPCC stage but do not expect much. What should have been a simple unlawful arrest has cost the Met 1000s. I pleaded poverty in court so only had to pay minimal costs (unlike family courts they are not going to do an audit) I now have a conviction which will be spent in a few more months. No real impact on my life so far

[Tom LondonParticipant]

Nice to see a woman who has seen the real picture. Most females want to believe the mother is always the “victim” and Cafcass only protect children.

It is the worst injustice in our society and there is a conspiracy of silence. Theresa May wants to clamp down on domestic abuse but she will turn a blind eye to the theft of children and destruction of men with false allegations.

[Tom LondonParticipant]

Yes so much media showed up to watch this protest. Millions of people care about Trump but are happy to gloss over the Judiciary and their legal associates encouraging and getting rich off the back of child abduction and abuse. It needed an F4J presence to highlight the real gender abuse.

It is like the people who oppose fathers rights have won. We cannot even get people out on the streets anymore.

[Tom LondonParticipant]

Bundles and bundles of paperwork then.

You need copies of all emails, communication and medical records and you need them indexed so you can refer to them in court and the judge or magistrate can find them.

The problem with giving you actual case examples is that it would then put us in contempt of court.

[Tom LondonParticipant]

Sadly you cannot speed things up. The family courts are notoriously slow. If you have a solicitor then ask them about emergency orders/hearing but otherwise it can take months to get back to court whilst cafcass and other agencies try to cobble reports etc together.

Stay strong. Keep doing your day job. Keep your sanity. There are 100,000s of us who have been through the same. The whole process is illogical, thrives on lies and deception and is deeply damaging to children but that is what the powers that be have decided they want. It is anything but a humane society.

[Tom LondonParticipant]

Once you get your head around the format it should be relatively easy. Just write your account of what the situation is and why you are in a good position with regards to your children. Keep it to one paragraph bullet points. Use respondent/applicant or mother/father.

So opening should be a brief explanation of situation ie you met mother in 2008, child born 2012, separation 2016 then any mitigating factors such as DV or mental illness. Tackle any allegations against yourself. Then a brief position statement of where you want to be as a result of the hearing and why you think the child will benefit from this.

Honestly though the judge will only briefly glimpse through your statement. It helps to keep it in a good format but probably they notice very little else other than the end where you state what you want for the child/children. It is more important to be alert and focuseed on the day. The judge will try to dictate proceedings and just follow a set pattern that they always do.

[Tom LondonParticipant]

See I love this forum. Men will tell you what you should really do which is act as badly as your ex. If she is prepared to kidnap your child/children then take it to that level and show her what it is like to live not knowing where or what your child is doing.

For too long as men we have been conditioned to believe that we must stay calm and turn the other cheek whilst the women in our lives beat us, steal our children and attempt to break us.

We almost need this as a campaign. “Snatch first”. Do not sit calmly whilst your ex is planning to steal your child. If more women were deprived of children then you could bet that female MP’s would quickly bring through legislation to stop the abduction of children, but whilst it is predominantly women “fleeing” they are happy to go along with the lie that women need to get out with children from abusive men.

Start stealing children (legally of course) so that we can force through an end to this practice.

[Tom LondonParticipant]

You want to be able to tell judges what the correct process should be? Good luck with that. Judges are on a different plain to all other mortals.

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