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Court recognised pyschiatric evaluations can set you back £2000. Might be cheaper to apply to the Jeremy Kyle show.
April 29, 2017 at 7:52 pm in reply to: Wife wants to leave with the kids to France – should I contest in the courts? #7940The courts will most likely side with her so you need to try to keep this out of court. Bribe her and do whatever is necessary to facilitate her wanting to stay in the UK.
If she was to approach this logically then she would admit that life in Marseille will never match up to the UK. There is huge unemployment, poverty and under investment. I cannot see how she thinks the sun and cheaper accomodation make up for everything they will lose by moving to the city. I moved to Marseille when I was 21 with a girlfriend from the city. I lasted 6 months before returning to the UK for work. Most of the people I met and was introduced to in that time have left the city in search of a better life elsewhere. My ex girlfriend moved to Lyon and others have moved to Paris, the UK and other cities.
Marseille will offer very little to your daughters once they leave school and growing up there will limit their life choices. The only trade offs are beaches at the weekend, north african food and culture and that weird marseillaise accent and provencal dialect. Otherwise it is grim. Like moving to a UK city in the north that has never recovered from loss of traditional industries.
Oh and as for the police. Never let them mediate or advise. They nearly always take the easiest path for them which is child goes to mother regardless of her metal health.
Welcome to the forum. You are now experiencing the shock that most of us went through on breakup.
You have no rights in law to see your son. Either parent can kidnap a child and withhold it and nobody in authority will do anything. That is the default position. To gain rights to see your son you will need to go to court now and you can expect at first to be treated as if you are guilty of domestic assault and worse. On top of that without an emergency hearing you will most likely have to wait months.
Snatching children sadly is all to common. It is a favourite tactic of the legal profession who now routinely encourage mostly women splitting up with their ex to take the children and run. It is not uncommon for the legal profession on having a woman with PND come to them to advocate this route. Rather than encourage her to work with you and try to focus on getting her better they will escalate tension and encourage her to take actions that mean she can then never move back in with you and will then need to be in court for years paying their fees. They wil encourage her in the belief that her depression is a result of your actions.
In order to advise you I would need to know more details of what you hope to obtain. With a 9 week old who is breast feeding it would be damaging to try to take him away from the mother but alternateivly if you allow your wifes family to take him now then that will set the status quo for the future. You will effectively become a weekend father.
Currently though if there is no court order in place then there is nothing to stop you stealing him back. You have to weigh up the damage this will cause to him and his mother.
You have my sympathy. Having a new child is tough on both parents but everything is geared towards supporting mothers. Sometimes the best thing to do in these situations is to distance yourself for a while and let things calm down. This can also though see you labelled as uncaring and will be used to justify contact denial.It is a tough to get this right.
Surround yourself with friends and family. Make your siblings and parents determine the best course. Avoid the legal profession if you can. If anything take comfort in the knowledge that for most fathers in the first 6 months there is very little interaction between us and babies. You really want to be there from when they start sitting up and tracking people aorund the room and learning to recognise their immediate family and carers.
Ltd company is the way to go. Csa/Cms still have not got to terms with people who do not use salary payments for income. When your ex finds out the 15yr old will only bring in £5 a week he will be sent back to you
Rather than expecting help and then getting back to your life you could stick around, read up on the issues facing non resident parents and join a movement for change?
We cannot maybe change your outcome that much but we can strive to change the law.
I have a son. I want him to one day be a father and to be able to tell him with confidence that it is the best thing he will ever do.
Every week we get another 2-3 of these posts. It is so widespread. Relocation/ abduction by Resident parents is happening too often and the courts and current legal framework fail to recognise the harm it causes.
My ex moved, Kent to Cheshire, then to Cambridge. Each time I realised fighting the move was pointless. As a French national she could relocate to France and the court would give her their blessing. Utterly powerless to stop this.
Those of you who came here expecting immediate answers and solutions after breakup I think will be disappointed.
The nature of your predicament means each persons case would need 100s if not 1000s of man hours to put you on the right track.
Sorry but there is no magic answer. As someone who is 7 years in I can tell you now that this will suck up much of your time. You are going to have to put in the hours and work on reading up and empowering yourself with knowledge. You can pay the legal profession 10,000s to assist but even then you will need to know what it is you want.
The information you need is all around. You have to put in the hours though. Some of us can try to help but there are 100s of variables which make each struggle different.
Look on this more as a place for moral support. When you are getting battered by the courts and your ex you will always find parents here who have experienced much the same.
I have a section 91 against me. I have not seen my children in 7 years. The Child support agents still phone me up demanding money despite the fact that my ex pisses it all away on legal fees and lives in a small mansion.
Stick together through this and campaign for change.
Do you notice I try continually to steer them away from discussing child maintenance pointing out that it is not within the remit of the family courts and thus cannot be tackedled with reforms to the family court and yet they repeatedly bring it back. They are fixated with the money side and not the welfare of anyone but the mother.
Then even more telling is how they quickly try to rubbish Suella Fernandes. I point out she is female, ex barrister, very intelligent and on Parliamentary committees concerned with child welfare and none of that is good enough for them. They want a “mother”. The only voice they will listen to and want framing law is someone who has been through divorce and whose views will match their own.
The sad thing is if you read around those boards you see that groups of them meet with Jess Phillips and other MPs and their voices get heard. Currently they are obsessed with transexuals obtaining the same rights and access to female spaces and want to outlaw that (you cannot allow people to self identify as women) so perhaps some of the attention has been shifted away from beating up fathers.
April 16, 2017 at 10:54 pm in reply to: Local authority won court case to have my children adopted #7814Sadly this is the system. It is all too unfriendly to males. It looks for signs of mental illness and to prove that we have a history of mental illness to then write us out of children’s lives. I had much the same treatment. Allegations of mental health issues used against me by the legal professionals that my ex hired. It destroys any case you have. You then disprove those allegations by eventually being blackmailed into releasing all medical records but the damage done by false allegations then means that you can never co-parent with your ex.
I have bowed out of my children’s lives. To force my way back in would mean rolling over and saying that my ex did nothing wrong in making false claims about me. Cafcass bought into the lie but rather than expect an apology from them they still want me to go to parenting classes, forgive my ex and admit guilt for fighting the false allegations in court when the right thing to do is be a compliant male and admit guilt where there is none. It is in the best interests of the children if men just admit to their crimes or mental illness even if they know they are innocent. It is like somebody serving time in prison. If they admit to a crime and admit guilt they will get early release. If they continue to argue innocence then the state will continue to deny them freedom arguing that to deny your illness is a sign of narcissism as you are failing to do the right thing by the children. Catch 22. Either way you are fucked.
Just join the anonymous march on the 5th of November. You find a lot of people who know nothing about the family courts who are very much against state intrusions into the life of individuals. It is a good time to tell them on how government employies and agencies encourage and support the abduction and abuse of children. How they then drive men to suicide and fail to uphold the laws put in place to protect children. It is a good place to win people over to the cause and get the message out.
F4J does not really seem to be the place to organise demonstrations these days and there appears to be a press blackout on reporting stories to do with fathers rights activism. We are better off as individuals tagging on to marches with people who are for equal rights and holding government and the judiciary to account. Get the message out through other means. Tell everyone you can. Never accept the injustice and roll over. Keep fighting.
How can they track me down? I am now in between the CSA and CMS. Case is closed.
If I go rent in a house share or just rent a bedroom. I do not own a car. They therefore will not have my name on any bills/utilities. I can hold off notifying the DVLA about any changes in address.
It is possible to drop out? My limited company is registered to accountants address. I might need to inform bank of change of address but the Child support people cannot access bank data?
I have had no further letters so far. After 5 years of getting £5 a week the ex may finally have come to terms with the fact that she is not going to blackmail me with the children to extort money.
Oh well as this place is so quiet I went over to our friends at Mumsnet to guage the reaction of our favourite feminists
It is saturday night so quiet as most of them will have put the kids to bed now and be necking back wine. They are going to hate this. Anything that removes the power of women to exclusively dictate terms after a divorce.
April 1, 2017 at 7:22 pm in reply to: Relentless Tribunals and Investigations making me penniless #7755Errr officially you cannot. Unofficially there are ways around the Child support payments but only do this if you know your ex can adequately provide for your children.
I work through a limited company. I pay £5 a week and with the CSA case closing I think my ex has finally admitted defeat. If the new CMS want to come after me then I intend to make the costs of pursuing me more expensive to them than the actual money they will be allowed to bill me for to administer the case.
I notice this is not in the private members bill that Suella Fernandes has brought to parliament. Maybe we need to raise this with her and the MPs backing it (man was I suprised to see my MP is one of the backers of her bill).
Adding a clause that restricts parents from moving the children more than 100 miles away from the other parent without consent is surely in the child’s interest. It is time to get vocal and let the MPs working on getting this bill through know that their proposed changes to the law (enforcement of contact) mean nothing if judges still allow resident parents to skip the country or move to a completely different region of the UK. 2 hours commute maximum sounds fair.
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