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apologies for my grammar ‘free 30 min half hour consultation’ lol I am dyslexic so please excuse me if I come across as a bit dim, I can assure you I’m really not 🙂
Nhunt, I don’t really know how to get about things yet. I know I would have to pay maintenance, and that would probably be a little less than half the rent. I guess that I want to be able to show that I have been more than reasonable. Could I just figure out the minimum payment and send her that into her account every month? Perhaps that’s best maybe because she has probably applied for housing benefit, I really wouldn’t be surprised.
She emailed me this morning saying that its permissible by the order that she can contact me in regards to child access, how ever I have not been served any order nor have I been sent one in the post?? I obviously sent a very polite email back stating that I have not received any order so therefore in replying, I’m not breaching any thing.
She also emailed on Saturday saying that she will no longer contact me, and surprise surprise she contacts me on the very next Monday to flex her great big muscles of control. I feel like she is making up her own law??
If I do get this order, what is the first thing to do to appeal it? I have been for a free 30 min half hour consultation with a solicitor before, so does that mean I would have to fill out paper work to become a litigant in person? I did sign some paper work at the solicitors. I have read enough on here to decide that I am going to represent myself all the way.
She seems to think I have this order already, so I hope that because I don’t have it, there isn’t any grounds for it. Perhaps her solicitor advised her to apply for it in order to make money from her knowing that there wasn’t any grounds for it. That would be an ideal world.
Yo Nick, If I was on this forum when you posted this I sure as hell would have come along. Please any future protests I will certainly come, please let me know. [email protected]
obviously now my financial circumstance has changed and I can no longer afford to pay full rent. I can only afford to pay half £625
Right things have got a lot more messed up. She is now saying that she won’t let me see the children until we have mediation and it will only be in a contact centre. She told me she has filed for a court order because apparently I am an alcoholic and a domestic abuser. I do enjoy a drink (although I am not drinking any more since I knew she was going to make these allegations) all she has is a picture of a broken door from 4 months ago. in her own words via email ‘I am in no doubt you will be in receipt of a court order soon…’
if I do get this court order, I am definitely going to contest it. I hold down a decent job and if there was an inclination of me being an alcoholic, they would have tested me and sacked me if it was positive. I do a lot of driving for my job too some times 160 miles in a day at the most, so if I think I had an alcohol problem I would have had my licence taken away from me. I am the kind of guy who will have 6 cans of beer on a Friday and Saturday night and perhaps a glass of wine. the broken door was in response to her emotional bullying. No one was hurt therefore there was no violence.
Worse case scenario, I do get this order and I have to see my children in a contact centre, how long would that be for if the courts don’t reverse the order after I contest it? If they judge that I do have an alcohol problem after doing a test, how long will I have to be tee total before they see that I don’t have a problem? Do they have to have evidence of alcohol abuse in order to warrant a test, or is an accusation enough?
Because she has expresses concerns of harassment, I cannot contact her any more. Even though my texts were only asking about when I can see the girls.
To me her filing for a court order is just a knee jerk reaction after locking me out my house and putting all my belongings in the garage. I think I have been on the right side of the law enough to fight her allegations.
It is still early days, I don’t want my girls to move out of the area because she can’t afford to live in the house. I will also pay it for a maximum of 1 year. If she keeps changing the goal posts I will simply pay her the bare minimum child maintenance.
I can’t believe you have been alienated for 12 years 🙁 why do some people need to be evil especially denying children their rights of seeing their father or mother. Don’t give up and I hope your children will realise what you had to go through and come close to you again.
My wife is full of shit…she said today that my aggression got me into my situation, accept it and move on. I said, No I am not accepting that because it takes two to tango…I was willing to get help but because she is refusing to accept any of her flaws that provoke my anger, I’m not going to address me issues if she isn’t going to address hers.
She is also putting pressure on me (bullying) to get my belongings from the house in which I’m on the tenancy agreement and paying rent for. I said please I will not be rushed all I have at the moment is a chest of drawers. don’t even have a wardrobe. she threatened to drop my belongings at my parents and I said that I wouldn’t advise that as she hasn’t any right to.
We have managed to come to an amicable agreement today 🙂 only because she realised how much mediation would cost…I said to her why don’t we try do it with out mediation first, what is the point in not trying that first to try save money…
any way she suggested every Thursday from 3 – 6 at her place and every Saturday from 1 – 6 at my parents after the girls finish swimming, which I will be attending too. and 9am – 6pm at my parents if the girls aren’t swimming. and I carry on paying rent until the end of the tenancy, which is about a year.
I’m happy with that, lets just hope she can stick to this agreement
In regards to paying the rent on our house, we are both on the tenancy. I am obliged to half the rent, however I wouldn’t want to jeopardise a roof over my girls heads. There is only another year until the contract ends then I can refuse to renew. I could still only pay half the rent if I wish and she would have to find the rest.
I also thought about using money as a bargaining tool, if she is going to let me see the girls the bare minimum, I will contribute the bare minimum. If she lets me see them more, the more I will contribute. I have not hinted at this yet, I’m going to wait to see what she proposes on access.
Thanks for your reply Nhunt,
Yesterday I met up with her and the girls at the park for an hour, and we got on just fine. She then contacted me later that night to face time and say good night to the girls. I have made a note of the dates and times of the meetings / face time/ texts.
I plan to do as you advised and just play it cool. Then she then can’t later say that she is threatened by me, otherwise why would she have met up with me at the park or face time with me so I can see the girls.
I think that as long as a I keep my cool and not argue about any thing, it may work out alright.
Howsit losingmymarbles.
She really can’t do this and has no right to unless you are court ordered to.
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