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While filling out the c100 form, also try get some prohibited steps on her i.e. To stop her taking your child out the country, to not move too far away from you, any other Ones you can think of. It will be on the same form
First try child arrangements order (C100 form) fill that in and send to the courts. Do it yourself don’t bother with a solicitor. You mentioned you have tried mediation so try say that it’s broken down and they may sign you off to file for child arrangements order. If they won’t, you will have to try mediation again.
If she doesn’t make allegations of you being a substance abuser/child abuser/ domestic violent, it should be relatively straight forward.
I haven’t sent it off yet because we are still in the process of mediation, however I haven’t seen my girls in a month. It’s killing me. She has also filed for every kind of court order and made so many accusations. Be prepared for this, it may happen. If ornate does it will slow every thing down.
I know it’s hard but stay positive bru. I find the gym helps. I have lost quite a bit of weight and feel really good about myself. I do still have my moments though mainly zoning out and feeling an overwhelming sense of emptiness / bereavement.
Caution
The only two things she contacted the police about are an allegstion of aggression how ever it’s here say because of no evidence. I didn’t have a call or a visit from a police officer.
I then phoned the police to ask for an escort to go and get my belongings. I had to wait for a call back from them, and he mentioned about threatening texts but I assured him that there wasn’t a threat. Wasn’t really a warning. I haven’t had a warning as such. Or a caustic
Hey I’m also relatively new to this forum. From what I have read every where, get ready for a rocky ride. Don’t ever get angry. You are at her mercy. Try to negotiate, if she won’t then Family court is your only option to get child arrangement order. Rather represent yourself or you will spend a fortune
I stupidly got into a text argument with her the same day and I didn’t exactly deny doing it.
I found some valuable evidence today….
My wife had severe preeclampsia leading up to the birth of our twins. She was in hospital for a month before the girls were born and they were born under a emergency c-section. 8 weeks premature. I’ve found out today that severe preeclampsia can cause anxiety, post natal depression and even post traumatic stress disorder. This would really explain her behaviour of locking me out the home for no reason and her constant “red alert” state of mind.I do think I can have all of her order dropped and potentially get her mentally assessed, as I do have real concerns about how my girls are being looked after. She used to wrap them up in jumpers coats scarfs hat and gloves and a 17 degree day and we would take them some where in the car and they would be drenched in sweat at the other end. I did used to tell her that they don’t need cost hat gloves scarf jumper etc but she would say that she doesn’t take risks. Pretty messed up.
Okay so, I have a finding of facts hearing on 18th July.
She has now filed for a C1A allegations of harm and violence. She has now accused me of child abuse. I feel we has scored an own goal here, because if there was child abuse, why did she do nothing about it? Surely by doing nothing about child abuse, she is as guilty of the abuse as much as the abuser? There is absolutely no evidence or record of child abuse. If I prove her wrong on this can she get jail time? If I was to be proven for child abuse, I would lose my job as I do work in schools. This seems to be a very damaging accusation to me.
There are a heap load of other lies but I can defend them all.
I sent my statement and evidence of some of her lies to the court so they received it before the hearing. She already walked into that court room being proven a liar.
She has also extended the non molestation order to stop me going to my girls nursery, made some more lies and bent the truth about that. She said I am going to abduct the girls from nursery, even though I drive a van and don’t have car seats.
She has also filed for prohibited steps to say I can’t take them out the country even though they don’t have passports and I’ve never attempted to apply for passports.
I think I have more than enough evidence to prove her a nut job and possibly an unfit mother.
Right I have sent my statement, response to her application and allegations and witness statements to her, the judge of granted the order and the court where the hearing will take place on friday.
I did mention very briefly in my statement that I am the victim of emotional abuse and bullying.
I then wrote how I was told by her that she thought it was best that I stay at my parents, so respecting her wish for space I packed a bag for a week with full intention of coming back to the house after counsellong. Then found out 2 days later she made a complaint to the police that I was aggressive and changed the locks. All the police have is her allegations, I have never been cautioned. I left the property on a Saturday and she made the complaint on a monday. Then filed for a NON based on false allegations as a knee jerk reaction to justify locking me out the house.Any way long story short, I have only defended myself in my statement and not made any allegations against her.
Even though I havnet seen my girls properly in nearly 4 weeks, I am keeping the faith 🙂 I cry daily for a short period of time because I miss my girls so much but I do remain positive.
Basically, I want to agree to undertakings, but still want to submit evidence and a statement to prove her lies. is it possible to do this? There is basically no evidence other than common sense that she is lying on some of her accusations, like saying that ‘the threats are escalating every day to visit the property’ as if there was evidence of this, I would have been arrested, simple as. I believe I have to give the evidence to her too before I submit it to the court.
Can I go to the first hearing from the NMO this Friday, then submit evidence/statement to the court another day after the hearing?
by the way, I’m only paying half the rent, just to protect myself. the landlords did tell me that if I didn’t pay any of my half of the rent, and she couldn’t make it, they could still take me to court for it. I don’t want to risk that so I will just pay half until the end of September, then I will only have to pay her £411 maintenance. I can live with that, its only 5 months or so until I don’t need to pay any rent
Regards to the rent, I can trigger the one year break clause at the end of july to take effect from the end of September. I have to give 2 months notice. After that I’m not liable for any rent.
I went to the nursery today, to tell them my side of the story. I was very polite and humble. The ex did show them the NMO, hoping they would probably say that they won’t let me near the children. However they told her that the order is against her and not the children. They let me in today to see the girls, just a shame that they were sleeping. I didn’t wake them up as that would have been incredibly selfish of me. I asked the nursery if I could come most Mondays (they are only at nursery 1 day a week) for an hour or 2 or even the whole day if I took it off, and they said they would have no problems with that. They do need to tell my ex, and if she says she is not happy with it, they are basically going to tell her that she can’t stop me unless there is an order against me. Luckily my working hours can be quite flexible so I can hang out with them there 🙂 I wouldn’t put it past her to withdraw them from that nursery now, hopefully she will think that wouldn’t be in their best interests. I don’t have any desire to pick them up from nursery, I just want to hang with them.
The NMO is against her, not the children. I am tempted to try to see my girls at nursery today. The nursery may possibly call my wife to let me know, but that wouldn’t matter as I wouldn’t be breaching the order by going to see the girls at nursery. I don’t think the nursery can say no as I pay half the nursery fees and I have parental responsibility.
If they give me a chance to speak, I will definitely say that I have been bullied and being emotionally abused. I have never been arrested by the police, questioned, or cautioned. Social services have never been involved with me, so it will look pretty clear cut that she is being very damaging.
Right, there has been developments!
On Thursday morning, I was served with a non molestation order. As you could expect, it is based on absolute BULL SHIT!!
Some of the allegations include-There is a real threat of child abduction. She reckons that I am going to abduct them and take them back to South Africa to live. That could prove a bit challenging seeing as the girls don’t even have passports yet. Also I don’t even have a south African passport any more, only a British passport. Also I moved here with my parents as a 14 year old back in 2002. I had to finish school here.
– I have repeatedly threatened her in front of the children, my parents and her parents. I also scream at my children. The children can’t vouch for her because they aren’t speaking yet. My parents can vouch for me that that’s false. If I threatened her in front of her parents, why the hell did they not contact the police and report me like most people would?
– The threats of visiting the property are escalating daily. I have never attempted to visit the property since she locked me out. I would love to see her evidence of this. There is certainly no evidence via text, email or phone calls. Also if there was any evidence of threats, I have no doubt that she would have reported me to the police and I would have been arrested and cautioned.
– In her application, she said I threatened the landlords for not giving me the new key to the property. In her statement she wrote that I have been ‘mounting pressure’ on the landlords to obtain a key. I would love to know which one she really means, because threatening and mounting pressure are two very different things. I have contacted the landlords to ask them to send me a statement. Within the statement they mentioned I have never threatened or even asked them for a key to the property, and I have been nothing but polite to them.
– I have been arrested for ABH and drink driving and have a history or alcohol and drug dependency. A quick look at my very recent fully enhanced DBS check will show that I have indeed not been convicted of ABH. The drink driving I cannot defend, however that happened 10 years ago when I was 20. There is absolutely no history, either on my criminal history or medical record, of alcohol and drug dependency. My boss has also written a statement that if there was any inclination of me being drunk/hungover or on drugs, I would be tested and sacked if positive.
– I have a history of depression and been on medication. over 10 years ago.
– I have tried to commit suicide before and she thinks I will be a danger to the children if I was allowed back in the house. There is no evidence or record of me tying to commit suicide.
There are a few more but I can easily prove them wrong. I think I will just agree to undertakings as I really can’t be arsed to waste any time proving her to be a liar. I am hoping that during my court hearing on Friday that I will be given the chance to have my say, and they will be able to clearly see that she is lying and clutching at straws to make me sound like an unfit father.
In her application, she actually asked that they impose that I pay full rent. Obviously they didn’t impose such a ridiculous request. She also requested that she reserves the right to stay in the property, despite her being on the tenancy agreement too and already has the right to stay in the property.
She has filed for a non mol order. The landlord told me that she saw it. However I haven’t been served it yet?
When I booked mediation today, they told me I wouldn’t have to pay for the assessment and first session as she has been granted legal aid. This screams she has a non mol order to me.I have already notified the landlord that I don’t reside there any more, so the witch could apply for reduced council tax. She also went round there after she changed the locks on me / put all my belongings in the garage to give them the old locks and new key to the new locks. They did question her if she was doing the right thing and she assured them she was, even though there was no occupation or non mol order against me. Would this work in my favour contesting it in court because it does look like she locked me out my own home with no right to, and then filed for non mol as a knee jerk reaction.
It sounds like you are really confident in your knowledge about not paying the rent. I can’t seem to find any information about not paying rent if you can’t live there, do you know any links to give me peace of mind? I’m shit scared that I’d get pestering letters about rent arrears. All I can find is that if you are both on the tenancy, you are both liable. What if I will be liable for the rent if the court thinks that I did leave the house on my own accord or that she did have a right to lock me out because of a non mol order that she applied for after throwing me out?
I also have pestering texts from her putting pressure on me to get my belongings while I still had a right to be in the house.
Another thing about the rent, we are both on the tenancy agreement so we are both liable for the rent. If I don’t pay any rent at all, I know the landlords will chase her for the rent. But if she can’t or doesn’t pay, can I still be liable for the rent? I don’t want to not pay any thing only to have a fat bill come my way eventually. I have also notified the landlords that I don’t reside there any more, so wife can get reduced council tax
She has also contact CMS. If I am paying half the rent, does that not equate to child support seeing as I am paying half the rent for a roof over their heads? I don’t want to be paying CMS and half the rent, she is now trying to financially rape me. Some advice on this would be greatly appreciated.
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