[NHuntParticipant]

It all depends on how long she took them away – 30 days is normal time that needs approval. But, there is very little the court will do if it has already happened. And if it is just a two week holiday then you can only protest the lost visitation unless there is already and order in place to stop the holiday. Does that make sense?

The system is so fucked up that taking your child out of the country is not abduction if she brings them back. Also, you need to contact the court any time visitation is refused – and in this case, depending on the amount of time she has been away a Prohibited Steps order may be warranted to stop it from happening again.

[NHuntParticipant]

Aren’t all judges male and early 60’s?? lol its like an old boy template. lol – Actually I had a woman once – but she must have quit because I never saw her again.

Ok, possession is 9/10th the law in regards to property and children is almost the same thing here in the UK. Sounds like she have tried to stymie you with legal stonewalling – don’t bite.
You can fight the NMO and win, many have done it by keeping calm and focussing on the kids and proving that you are not a threat other than wanting to protect the kids. Prove that she went this route to gain custody and nothing else. Suggest she is in the wrong court with the NMO and Family Court is designed to decide these issues and not the county court.
Prohibited steps order tells us that she is aware of your attempt to go for custody and she is being proactive in making the first move. This is the same court that will hear your custody claim and might be a good place to put all your evidence of her poor parenting. Her action will delay things in a legal context but you can still pursue your custody hearings – but, filing now may not be needed if the judge orders it for you. If you are lucky she may have just started the custody case for you.

My advice is to treat these exactly as you would your Custody Hearing. These are the same judges just in different courts… well actually it is the same court.
Stick to facts and stay calm – you can win this silly battle. Then you can push on to the next more important steps.

[NHuntParticipant]

Hey,
A Section 47 Enquiry is the police asking child services to investigate at situation when the child has been taken into custody. Does this sound right to you????

Normally it is completed with in 15 day for the court/police to make a decision on what to do. It normally leads to an arrest of some kind.

Neither parent is gonna look too good afterward – but evidence is the only thing that will save a father – mother can just be mothers and get away with some horrible shit.

[NHuntParticipant]

Hey, this is really good info – Thanks! PA is a killer and it is very hard to keep your self grounded. I use this forum to help other and but more importantly to help myself by talking about it. I had some dark days many years ago but now feel that the truth is close to being revealed.
Nick Goodall – I will look it up. I actually could have really used this guy w while back. I shared a lot with a PA group on Facebook but many turned out to quite bad people giving actual PA survivors a bad name. Shame.

You should still give your MP a shot. The conservatives were the only major party to have any mention of child act reform on their manifesto. You may be surprised what they will do to help a constituent? Let me know if you need help with what to say – but it sounds like you know what to do!!!

thanks again and lets hope you get back in touch with your teenagers real soon. 14 us the year that mine started asking questions.

[NHuntParticipant]

Rebecca,
Society does juts assume that fathers are bad people. Men and women are to blame for this injustice. One day we may be able to change things but we have to stick together.
I am so sorry to hear this story – it is one that hits the rock bottom of the system. Be strong and keep hope alive that one day this can be overturned on appeal!!!

Keep the faith and keep us posted!

[NHuntParticipant]

Abat,
If I get this correctly – here are some of my thoughts:
1) contact the court by any means necessary and ask for copies of all documents relating to the case. Say that have not been served with any papers and understand there is an application mentioning you. Don’t assume anything in your letter and just ask for the documents. Call them if they have a number – or if it is close by drop in and ask.
2) Any statement should be within the court pack and you can ask for that – see 1). One would imagine that the plaintiff would have to send you a copy – but until you know what application this is – you cant assume anything.
3) Applying for a NMO is horses for courses. Many evil mothers stop you from reaching them – so you then have no way to reach the child. Also, if there is a NMO in place and claim Domestic violence then legal aid far easier to obtain.

A) Not sure what this means – but there is no shame in talking to people and sharing your emotions. Also, the mum knows you are missing your child, it is the whole reason it has come to this.
B) Ummm, for sure. Society assumes that mum is perfect and dad is bad. Any evidence to the contrary rocks the boat and will send mum up the bend. She will certainly be angry if you say anything negative about her to officials or friends. You would be the same.
C) If there is a prohibited steps order in place than this may not be the reason. Either way, you are looking for a reason when there may not be one. Some mothers can just be evil and play the system because if hurt you.
D) People will most definitely share information with your ex. Some people don’t want to get involved and others love to get involved. But, all this being said – you should never feel bad for sharing your feelings about missing your child. But, anytime you make her look bad will definitely push her to act. Sadly, she is acting in a selfish and detrimental way.
E) You need to get a copy of the application and look at the evidence she has submitted. You need to create your counter argument and highlight the possible reason for this order – she is trying to separate you from the child and there is no reason for the NMO other than to pervert the family court case. It is an attempt at a smoke screen to slow down visitation. She is not in any danger or risk of harm, therefor there is no need for the NMO. Family Court is designed to settle all family issues and not civil court.

many have fought NMOs and won. Just recently I can mention three guys I have spoken with who won… you can win. Just stick to the facts and don’t get side tracked with reasons why she is an evil cow. Put the child first!!!

good luck – and let us know if you need more help.

[NHuntParticipant]

Easty101,

Take a deep breath! its not that hard and you will be happy you finally made the jump to representing yourself. There are countless stories of dumping money into court funds with little result. There are just as many stories of people representing themselves with little result (but at least they are not in debt).

A simple letter the judge saying you are to represent yourself should do it. There is a full legal “Litigation in Person” form that you can fill out but I wouldn’t bother unless the judge asks you to.
You have already been to court so you know the dealio… it goes back and forth until the mother budges and you reach an agreement.
Your option is to keep fighting and continue with court as long as you can – I assume CAFCASS is involved? Also, do you have direct contact with her legal aid hacks? You can drive them crazy with emails and letters now…

It sounds like the NMO is making things difficult – when does it expire?

let us know if you need help – there are more than a few of us who were forced to do the same thing to stay in the system.

[NHuntParticipant]

Hey,
Your local MP is obligated to assist you – they are after your vote after all. They usually host surgery days at their local HQ. Check thir site to see whe they are. You can book a slot with them and show them your eveifence.
They will write a letter to get you started. Have you already written to the ombudsmen yet, jus5 to set the whole thing up for your MP?
It took me a year to get and answer from the ombudsman… the MP part was quite quick. You might get a quicker response because of who you are going after, but with the CSA it was a nightmare.

Thanks for asking about my girls. The answer is no but yes. My oldest reached out me I. Two texts but as soon as that started they stopped… the 4weeks later I get court documents saying she wants to move to states and needs my approval. She probably could have just left and there is not much I could do to get them back but either way I have a chance to try and block it. There is a side of me who thinks that would be better for everyone concerned. My family live there and I visit a lot. Also, the American laws would support visitation…so, I have some thinking to do. Either way I will look like the bad guy for what ever I do in court.

They are 14 & 16 now so I think they must have questions, even with all the alienation they have been throug. God knows I would…

Let me know if you need more help!

[NHuntParticipant]

I believe your complaints to the ombudsmen has to be through your local MP – but I am not sure about that. I have yet to find an MP who will put their name out there as a source of common sense for Fathers Rights let alone back a CAFCASS complaint.

I used my local MP for my complaint about the CSA and ICE – he was good and processed it right away. The rest took about a year to complete and appeal. Needless to say, I lost. Fine details become very large once the establishment is pushed to explain their actions.

I wholeheartedly support your complaint and if you need anything, just let us know!

[NHuntParticipant]

Chance are you will need to convince the judge you need more time to defend yourself. Be humble and suggest it is hard to defend loose accusations that have no merit. Surely, your child ex should have police reports or something with teeth, if he doesn’t then it all hear say and just a way for her to remove you from sight and hurt the children by making it hard for you to see them. The hearing is the place for evidence and you need serious luck to be given extra time to submit it… but try and extend the hearing to another date.

And you are paying the rent out of the goodness of your heart and for no other reason right!!! Try not to make this look like a witch hunt either way. The kids are the most important thing and you can’t protect them I there is a NMO against you.

Super pleased to hear the Nursery are on the right side of this. Stay positive and be nice… and keep the faith.

[NHuntParticipant]

You don’t need a solicitor. Do it yourself and take control!!! You can also apply for yourself ya know… perhaps two court cases will slow her down.

We can help you through the process and show you example applications.

There are some very bad mums out there and a system that breeds them. Some mothers can be very cruel and unusual for sure. This is no surprise to the hundreds on thousands who are effected by the system and poor mothering. Many mothers do it for money and many do it for power or mixes of the two. It won’t stop until the laws are changed and mothers are held accountable for their abuse. Socially, we cuddle bad mothers and wait to blame good dads.

As a woman you should understand it best and help us change it. Let’s us know if you need help with the applications.

[NHuntParticipant]

Ex services – good man! There is no need to tell us what a good father you are – the very fact that you are here says a lot. It is a shame that lies and untruths are what the family court is all about.

I think there are some lies bounc8ng around with this personally. Your ex conveniently went to the doctor after your visit? Or was it a bit later? Or did do it at all…
I am sure this will come up at court and ask politely for the dpcutors report as you are just as worried about it as anyone.

You have the right to all doctors notes and the medical files for your child. Try to obtain them… perhaps start with the social services. Surely they have a copy or at the very least saw these documents. Remember to note the time the doctor examined the child. Dude, I have seen so many things like that in my time with F4J.

Keeping contact is the only way to stop the mother poisoning the kids. And keeping the father away is a sure fire way to have your child believe anything. My ex pretended I did not show up to visitation days… she just made up days … kids got their hopes up and dashed. I knew nothing about any of it until they were 16 or so.

Good luck and let us know if you need more help.

[NHuntParticipant]

Sharing is caring. There are a few outdated bits but what in particular is haunting you?

[NHuntParticipant]

There are a few steps here that don’t add up. A “non accidental” injury does not mean you did it for starters and I will be willing to bet that the social services have never seempn this report and telling you about it from good faith from the mother. This horrible system doesn’t actually need evidence from the mum in many cases – what she says is taken as fact. But as a responsible parent you can demand the doctors report in court and she must provide it. Surely your solicitor would know that… and perhaps even with the doctors name you can request the file.

I would consider filing a complain with social services about accuracy? Your son is of an age to accurately describe situations and pain. This can work against you too, so be careful. Your visitation with him is crucial too if he loses contact with you anyth8gn can happen.

Just a question: in what capacity is your solicitor helping you! Are you still in currently court (not had a final hearing yet) or are you paying him for moral guidance.

I really feel for you and I’m so sorry there is not a magic spell that will make this better.

[NHuntParticipant]

Just remember that you are only liable for the time the CSA/CMS case is open. So, the money clock only starts ticking once she starts the case with them and not before.

Victims of PA often stick with the current parent because of the risk of losing both parents. The absent parent is like a gamble, or the on known. To leave the resident parent there must be a truly remarkable reason for them to leap. It is the like the exact opposite of the Grass is Greener.
Just my opinion.

[Author]

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