Forum Replies Created
-
AuthorPosts
-
March 13, 2018 at 1:51 pm in reply to: Help and Advice over Separation / Annulment / Divorce / Access to Children. #9958
As you know divorces are “no blame” – so you need to get here to feel remorse and hope for the best. Let the solicitor fight for the money but don’t let them near family court.
I would also suggest staying in the house with the kids and DO NOT LEAVE. If you were to leave then you will lose everything – the kids need to stay at home and you are their resident parent. She will try and do what ever she can to get you out and may call the police. So, protect yourself with video or recordings of things that happen.There is no silver bullet but you can protect yourself at this early stage. Court will split everything down the middle after negotiations and the children are cared for (but remember: the parent who cares for the kids usually gets the house and can claim child support).
If she stays in the house with the kids.. your cooked.
This is very good advice!
Also, put together all the information into a folder and have it ready at any time. hopefully you have documents to show your agreement?
Another tougher option would be to not return your son because of this threat of kidnap. I am not saying you do this, but she would and most evil ex wifes would have done it already. For some reason women just think they can take children – and we let em.
March 13, 2018 at 1:25 pm in reply to: HELP – Court on 9/04/18 – PRISON TERM LIKELY for Non Payment of £30pw! to CSA #9956Well, I support you. We do have to start askin ourselves why the mother just assumes custody after divorce. This is the issue.
How mush are the arrears? And for how long for… only asking because the judge will take that into consideration. And actually, this would really one for the books if you did any jail time. But, the judge may conclude that you not working will not hurt the children and remove your licence. A simple letter from your kids may stop that to.Although, it does sound like you may have a case for having paid the money “In Lieu of Child Maintenance”. The judge might have reasonable doubt to a consider your payments?
The burden of proof is far less in civil court and this sounds like criminal court, where the judge will only consider the fact of non-payment.What area are you in? Just curious.
I hear you.
Ok, so within the law the person who has the tax credits (or is recognised by the gov) as having residency is the person who decides where they live and with whom. its a crazy system and it only appears that the UK is does it this way.Has there been any hard to your boy? that you know about? Threats to you, sadly, is not enough.
You are really on a slippery slope – it may be rational to just wait things out and see what happens. If you have visitation then this is the best thing you could ask for.
This does make sense. If you have shared parenting then you have the right to remove your son from a bad situation… doesn’t have to be permanent. My gut feeling is to not wait until she makes a move and your son becomes the victim.
Do you have child tax credits in your name – is there a case open with the CSA/CMS? You may not have any rights other than to call the police and risk losing visitation.
Always send your documents to the court – don’t worry about sending it to her. You can just say you did…
hey Michael,
welcome.The court is not exact about the age but usually it is about 12 for girls and 13/14 for boys. This is just a guideline written by some child know it all.
The judge in my case was happy to have CAFCASS speak with my girls when they were 10 and 12. But, this did not go as planned… mysteriously Parental Alienation was in full swing and moments before they were to meet with CAFCASS they were told something very horrible about me that made them pause long enough to make CAFCASS curious. I did not see them again. My girls also went to the court and spoke to the judge directly (I wasn’t there). it was agreed that the mum was directing the girls to think a certain way but there was nothing the court could do about it.Only you know your daughter and your ex – I really hope this works for you. if your daughter is a mature 9 year old and can represent herself the court may be inclined to speak with her?
March 13, 2018 at 7:45 am in reply to: I have a court order in place but my ex is breaching the order #9949You don’t always have to pay to go back to court. Sometimes a sincere and explanatory letter can get a hearing listed. the court is quite good at sending you to a forms website with a difficult “how much to pay” section. Every judge is different and every court is different too.
What a mess this country has created.March 13, 2018 at 7:38 am in reply to: Breach of Court Order, whats my next step to represent myself? #9948David,
If the case is still ongoing, ie you have not reached a final hearing, you can simply inform the court that you are to represent yourself. there is a template for this but any letter to the court that is simply written will suffice.
If you have reached a final hearing and have to start again – you need to fill in the c100 form and pay another fee.
I suggest writing to the court siting all the breaches of the order and tell the court you are to act for yourself in the same letter. The court will tell you what to do, but not in so many words.I can only assume that your ex also had a solicitor who has probably told her that the courts are unable to enforce anything so she can do what she likes. This is what solicitors do… and this is why the system is so bad.
Johny, I had a similar issue and just ordered a new Birth Cert and submitted it to the school. My daughters were going by a different name but their birth certs were correct.
I assume you are still on the birth certs? Surely, they are a forgery if you have been removed…My was able to change the passports too with out much trouble. So much for the law.
I don’t think you are miles away with this and if it not agreeable with the ex then she can counter with another option.
But, I understand 50/50 to mean 50/50 and in many cases people split the holidays in half (ie one week with you and one week with me on a rotating bases). So the half term in Feb they are with me then the first week of Easter with her, with the second week with me. This means the next week they have off is with her… and so on. it can be worked out easy enough and is 50/50.people often split Christmas so Boxing Day is the handover day – this way each parent get the children over the holidays but not necessarily on xmas day itself.
Also, this needs to be agreed with the mother if you are to get a result. The judge can order it but it will actually happen if she agrees to it in front of the judge.
It sounds like your ex has figured out she can control you and the courts by pimping the children – shame.
Wayne,
Mediation is the first step to going to court. It looks like this is the next step. Not sure what else to do .. also, don’t assume that court is going to make anything better – it often makes things worse. be careful, the system is designed to remove you from children’s lives.It sounds that the mum has already started Parental Alienation so make sure you are always smiling and happy when you are with your daughter. Sorry for asking this, but have you recently had a promotion or met a new partner or something good happen to you? I find that sad and pathetic mothers have these funny triggers that start this kind of things.
You are at a very key stage and careful negotiation with the ex will have positive long term results. Keep in mind your daughter is for life and once she is 13/14 she will be telling mum what she wants to do.
Not sure if that helps but it the best I got.
Not sure what you can do now other than accept the hearing and push forward. It takes time to change from contact centres to visitation.
Sadly, solicitors are part of the problem and not part of the solution. In normal court hearings, solicitors can be quite beneficial but in the secret family courts where there is no logic they are just money drains.
I suggest firing your solicitor ASAP and explaining to the court that you have to act in person because of the costs of the contact centres. You obviously do not want the children to suffer because you are in debt.try and negotiate directly with your ex now , if you can. And don’t be afraid to send letters to her solicitors if you have questions.
Don’t worry what the solicitors say – they are put on earth to prolong the hearings and take your money.
The solution is to have the child say that they would like to spend more time with you at your house… the court can not argue with the “wishes and feelings” of the child.
Now, that being said, there is not a great way to get the childs thoughts without looking like you planted the idea. Any video or possible CAFCASS/Contact Centre Staff to give evidence of the child saying it.Eventually contact centres lead to visitation but it takes time (and hope that the ex doesn’t make up new allegations).
Another option may be an independent party observing you with the child instead of the contact centre?
I am not sure what you can do at this stage other than start court action.
Mediation is the first step – but all this may have to be done in Preston as this is where the child lives.I think the big question is: if she is mental then why did you let her have the child??? I can only assume you did what we all did and just accepted that the mother gets the kids
-
AuthorPosts
